In the mental realm it also becomes an issue as to how do you cope with the rigors of competition where someone must lose and someone must win. Some experts might say you should always maintain a positive mental attitude and smile through all of the challenges and defeats. I see that as problematic. More likely the best way to survive in the realm of such intensity is to factor in a sense of humor. Humor can be found in almost anything if you can see the positive aspects of even the worst situations or those where all seems lost.
A Personal Example
I can give you a personal example. I had a friend in childhood whose father took him to play tennis regularly so he had a big edge on me whenever we played. He beat me for years and it seems I could never take him down. It got to be a joke with me. I'd tell him every time we played and I lost as he gloated and smiled that these losses were a wonderful opportunity for me. I explained that when the day arrived that I began the winning against him it would be that much more glorious. He'd laugh and laugh. Then one day it happened. Oh the joy. It was true. That one win was equal and in some ways superior to all his dozens and dozens of wins. For that one win to me said I had finally overcome him. Those losses were no different to me than being behind the leader in a race until the end when you took him in the straightaway.
How did I learn that strategy? Well, my same friend taught it to me. You see, I had a pool table in the basement of our house so I was a pretty good pool player. He couldn't beat me no matter how he tried or so it seemed. One day I had beaten him seven games in a row and was getting bored with the whole thing and somehow made a mistake that let him win. As soon as he won that game he started laughing, smiling, and said "Ha, I finally am better than you. I gotta leave now."
I was so bummed out from that moment that I felt that I had lost the whole day since it was the final game that mattered in the end just like in tennis.
Tennis is about Today
In tennis it is "What have you done for me lately."Ask Murray right now. He's at the top. All those years of being an also-ran among the Gods of Tennis clearly had him struggling with the concept of how to cope with losses since until his first Wimbledon it always seemed he'd come up short.
Federer is now number 17. How do you think he feels? I actually think he is handling it well considering he knows that no matter how great you once were your time will come.
I'll give you a for-instance. It's possible I could beat Rod Laver right now. Some of you don't even know who he is and and need to do a Google search to find out. I'll save you some time. He is still arguably the Greatest of All time if you factor in his two Grand Slams since he mastered all the surfaces. I hear he's stopped playing due to hip problems which I am well acquainted with myself. Sure, he's older than me and probably can't run but what does that have to do with it. From a totally objective point of view if I got him out on the court and took the match I could claim to have beaten him. Of course it would be no different than if I had beat him when he was 6 years old and just taking up the game. It really wouldn't mean much. Now, if I took him at Wimbledon in his prime that would be something else, it would have never happened, but it's definitely not gonna happen in this timeline. He had his run as one of the best ever and that time comes and goes for everyone. Some can't cope with it well, and I believe he does in a way that is superb and admirable. I still see him as the Rocket who used to cover the court like no one else. So all wins and losses are relative to the time and place. I still revel in the matches that I was blessed to watch Laver play. I even replay them on video now and then, and the same now for Federer matches.
Federer also appears to be on track to be a master of understanding when it comes to facing his inevitable decline. He still loves tennis and that to me is what makes him so special and so wonderful to watch in play that I think I'd watch him play if he was reduced to nothing but stationary drills. He has a joy in his game that comes through at every moment. Lots of other players have it too, but not all of them.
Your Approach to Winning and Improvement Toward Mastery
If you have reached the apogee of your level and play and still can't beat the lowest guy on the ladder then sure you can admit that you might be a hack. But if you're still on the rise and especially if you're a junior player with a decade or so of guaranteed improvement if you persist then you should take every point lost, every game lost, and every match lost as just another opportunity to excel down the road. There is no losing if you take that attitude
Also, as an aside here is an interesting article on how those with morbid humor might be more stable than others. I think it falls in alignment with the argument I made about eventually beating my friend. Suppose I just waited until the day came when he had all but given up the game and then took him down for the win. I could still claim victory and there it is. Others that I might want to beat I might have to wait until they're on a ventilator and that of course might be problematic unless they're much older than me. Do you get idea here. Have fun with it all and focus on you and your improvement using any mental means of coping with the losses that are sure to arrive.
Emotionally Stable People Enjoy Morbid Humor
https://psmag.com/smart-emotionally-stable-people-enjoy-morbid-humor-25544fcb4a9b#.nauvi2nl0
Vitas Gerulaitis - "Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row."
http://www.tennis.com/pro-game/2012/08/playing-ball-losing-them-all/37791/Vitas said this after losing 16 matches in a row to Jimmy Connors and it least he showed his sense of humor on that day among many other times as well. He won the 17th. He was an entertaining guy. More importantly though, despite his bad luck of being on the tennis scene when some of the best players ever were out there to hand him loss after loss he was still exceptional. We simply all can't be number one. Even Bjorn Borg who was at the very top at the time saw his time come against John McEnroe as did he when rather than other players taking him down it appeared that married life did the job.
Just Keep Working on it, both your game and your joy of just playing.
